How To Drive Off Your Customers

David G. Johnson Small Business Marketing Leave a Comment

Too busy at work?  More than enough revenue?  Here are some ways you can keep those pesky customers and prospects away…

#1: Make Sure Your Marketing is All About You
After all… people who want to spend money with you want to understand how your products & services benefit them, so if you focus on you, your company’s history, your features, etc., you’ll be sure to keep people from bugging you.  Whatever you do, don’t use pictures of the people most likely to actually buy from you, and avoid connecting their needs and wants to aspects of your business most likely to appeal to them.  Instead, just subtly communicate the notion that you’re in business for your own benefit and that you really aren’t interested in customers.  They’ll smell this a mile away and bug someone else instead.

#2: Ignore the Web
If your website hasn’t changed since the Clinton Administration, you’re on the right track here.  Even better: no web presence at all!  If you must have a website, make sure it doesn’t show up in any search engines… and whatever you do: don’t add fresh new content on a regular basis!  You should convey to visitors that you might already be out of business just by the aged look of your site.  To support this notion, hire a neighbor’s kid to build it — especially if he/she has no design experience whatsoever.  Websites that have that “we don’t care” feel do wonders at keeping people away.  If you’re still having response from your site, just bury the information that your customers want to find and add some contact forms to your site that do nothing and go nowhere.  If you can get them to generate an error message, it’s even more fun!

#3:  Keep Your Marketing Efforts Unfocused
If people have a clear idea of who you are and what you’re all about, they’re much more likely to pester you.  So, make sure that there’s no unifying theme to your marketing.  Buy ads at random, and always let whoever who sold you the ad design it for you.  This way, all of your ads will come out looking different from each other.  Make sure that your marketing doesn’t target any one type of customer, and stick with the “shotgun” approach.  Otherwise, your marketing might actually connect with someone, and then they’ll show up or call, expecting service from you.

About the Author

David G. Johnson

Twitter Google+ LinkedIn

David G. Johnson is Co-Founder and Growth Engineer at Grow The Dream, where he advises and trains business owners, entrepreneurs, and small business teams on revenue growth strategies. You can also find him co-hosting the Grow The Dream Show. »» Full Bio

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.